The vast majority of people would rather watch a TV show about two people sitting in a living room and talking to one another, which is the most boring thing in the world. But if you’re creative enough to dress your two friends up like hipsters and put them on two separate motorcycles, then that sounds like an entertaining idea. Two fat guys on a motorcycle is a real winner as far as crowds of people go, so here is how to do it.
How To Get People To Like Two Fat Guys On A Motorcycle :
1. Make sure you have a motorcycle.
This is a crucial step. Start by saving all your lunch money for the next 6 years. Then, spend about 100 more dollars on a used beginner’s motorcycle from Craigslist or eBay. You want to get one that runs good, but doesn’t have any fancy features like electric start or an automatic transmission. The fat guy riding the bike will be doing all the heavy lifting, so he should be able to just twist the throttle and make it go with enough fuel and air in the carburetor to allow it to run well enough to coast down hills at low speeds.
The fat guy riding the bike will also be doing all the heavy lifting, so he should be able to just twist the throttle and make it go with enough fuel and air in the carburetor to allow it to run well enough to coast down hills at low speeds. When the fat guy is riding, he can just sit there staring at his phone or staring at the wall of your house wondering what kind of person would have a motorcycle.
2. Get a third guy named Sean and dress him up like a hipster or artist.
When Sean is riding, he should mostly be looking at the ground and thinking of things to say while riding. He should not talk a lot. He should not try to make jokes or be funny. He should also NOT take a selfie with his friends on the motorcycle. If he tries to take a picture, that will be some kind of bad omen that all kinds of things are about to go wrong, so keep him away from your camera for the first few weeks after you start driving around town together.
Keep him away from your camera for the first few weeks after you start driving around town together. Sean should not be very interesting to talk to, or even see. He should be a guy who would rather sit and talk about what he thinks about art in general, or the plight of farmers in the developing world. Sean should know at least a few things about the Middle East and politics, but he probably shouldn’t talk about it because people will think it’s weird.
3. Get a fourth guy named Alice and dress her up like a princess or an old lady.
When Alice is riding with the fat guys, she should mostly be looking at the ground, not saying very much and not wanting to go fast since she is scared of falling off the motorcycle at slow speeds. She shouldn’t want to look like she’s scared, or getting hit by cars while riding, or being hit by cars while saying something funny during slow speeds.
You should also NOT have her take selfies with her friends riding in their cars while they are also taking selfies with their friends on their phones during slow speeds. You should also NOT have her take any selfies while on the motorcycle. Taking a selfie while riding will confuse people. Alice should also NOT be very interesting as a person, or even very pretty, because she might distract people from the hipster guy Sean who is riding with them.
4. Try to make all your friends hate your friends Sean and Alice right off the bat.
Sean and Alice should be annoying, because people will think your friends are adorable. This is very important. You have to make everyone else hate them so that everyone will love your fat friends on the motorcycle, who are not very interesting in the first place.
5. Then, sell them an old house from back in the day.
In order to get everyone to like you, it’s best if you buy some property first, before you have even started driving around with your fat pals on a motorcycle. You should try to find an old house that isn’t well maintained and has a lot of things in it that aren’t very useful anymore. You should put all the things in there that looked cool 20 years ago when your mom had a different kind of style and is now just sad and dingy looking.
Then, do something creative to fix up the old house so people will want to live there. Maybe put some furniture in it that no one ever used, or maybe make all the furniture out of wood that is only made in a very specific place with a very specific kind of tree. Make sure you buy or make everything “handmade” and that it’s not mass-produced by some company.
6. Throw an unexpected party.
You should throw an “unexpected” party at your house, where people can’t really plan anything and nothing is set up in advance. People will think it’s exciting since they don’t know what to expect, and they’ll love being at the party because it’s fun every time they come.
